Wanting More Time
by taitlin
Summary: Nate's thoughts as he says goodbye, knowing he has to but wanting something else. Episode tag 3x18. One-shot.


Her lips were soft and warm against his, moving gently and slowly but with pressure, with determination. Her whole person was sealed in that kiss and Nate couldn't help but press his lips back, to show her himself as well. He wanted it to last forever, for them to be sealed together for the rest of eternity, allowing them to live through each other with just a kiss.

She had to stay, to be here for her people, and Nate had known that, known deep down that it was inevitable. This village was all she had ever been focused on for an endgame, where even her time with the JSA had been leading to.

But the same could not be said for him. He had come from another place, another time and had his own home there; though for a short happy period she had shared it with him. Photos of them still lined the walls.

Still he yearned for more time, just a little more time. How ironic was that? They had met through time travel and here he was lamenting to himself for more time. Time to be able to be with her for just a little while longer, another day or week perhaps, before she had to take on her destiny.

Would it hurt less, if he had more memories of her laughing? Or more, as he'd never be able to hear it again?

He just wanted more time.

He could feel her slowing, her lips losing their pressure against his and he knew she was ending it. Ending their last kiss.

He would have to leave now, back to the jump ship and back to his rightful place in the time continuum. He pushed his lips against hers desperately, his hands clutching at her in a last show of defiance, of longing. But he knew it was time.

Damn time.

This was their last moment and Nate felt so grateful for everything they'd ever had together and so frustrated by it all.

Her lips stilled and she broke away slightly, leaving just enough room between them so that they could see into each other's eyes. He could lose himself in her eyes. Warm and deep, passionate and strong, they reminded him of the wild plains, appropriate enough for her he knew.

Tears gleamed at the corners of her eyes now and Nate wanted to reach out and wipe her tears away but he knew she was strong, strong enough not to let them fall in the first place.

She smiled weakly up at him and then looked away, her gaze settling on the horizon of her village. But her eyes flicked back up again almost immediately and it was in that gesture that Nate knew she did not regret her, their, actions. That even with her destiny she was still with him, if only in heart.

He gently cupped her face and as she looked down with closed eyes, squeezing shut to suppress those stubborn tears, he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. A promise kiss.

A promise that he would never forget her. A promise of everything he'd ever felt. A promise to be strong for her and her to be strong for him. A promise that time would always be theirs.

A promise that he would always love her.

"Goodbye Amaya," Nate said and quickly turned away, striding toward the jump ship with as much determination as he could, knowing he had to do it, knowing he couldn't turn around no matter how much he wanted to.

"Don't turn around, don't turn around," he muttered to himself. If he did, if he saw her looking at him with goodbye in her eyes he knew he wouldn't be able to do it. He had to do the right thing for her, for the destiny she had to keep.

And if a small part of his mind whispered that it was better for him this way too, he found he didn't have the strength to argue.

The jump ship was only a few metres away but it felt like miles. Nate swore he could feel the stare of her eyes burning into his back. Every step was harder, the distance giving power to the heavy scorching feeling between his shoulder blades. His feet felt weighted, the physical manifestation of his unwillingness to leave he supposed. But he forced himself to keep going, to keep up an even steady pace.

He climbed up onto the jump ship keeping his mantra to himself, not looking back.

The door hissed close and he punched at the controls, setting a course for the Waverider.

"I don't want you to go," he whispered to himself, finally letting the words he knew he couldn't have said free. "I want you to stay on the Waverider. I want your destiny to be with me. I want, Amaya. I want so much with you."

He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, screwing up his eyes tight. But instead of the darkness of his lids he saw an image of her, smiling at him.

"Not helping brain," Nate muttered to himself.

The jump ship lifted higher and just as it was about to engage its higher engines and blast him out of there he did what he shouldn't have done. He turned back and looked.

There was no way Amaya could see him from the ground and it turned out he really shouldn't have looked back. As now his last memory of her was her retreating back as she walked into the village. The ultimate evidence that that was her path now.

"Remember me," he murmured. "Because I'll never, ever forget you Amaya. I will always remember you."

The jump ship kicked into high gear and then he was gone, hurtling through space as the on-board computer confirmed his trajectory for meeting up with the Waverider. That was it. He was gone, she had stayed. As emotion rushed over him he realised that was truly it. With a tear-blurred blink of his eyes it was done.

Only then did Nate become aware of the deafening silence of the usually noisy engine around him, but it compared little to the now silence of his heart.

AN:

Just a little something that's been playing around inside my head. I love these two together and absolutely adored their last (just of this season I hope!) scene together. Please let me know what you think in a review.


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